Stop Playing Devil’s Advocate: How First-Born Daughters Abandon Their Power
Dear firstborn daughters of the world,
Stop Playing Devil’s Advocate: You Were Meant to Take Up Space.
If you’re a firstborn daughter, you likely learned early on that peace in the room meant sacrificing your own fire.
You were taught to soften, to smooth over tension, to understand both sides.
To be the peacekeeper. The rational one. The fixer.
And one of the sneakiest ways Ive watched this show up?
Playing devil’s advocate.
It sounds harmless. Even helpful.
But let me be real with you: it’s one of the most insidious ways women abandon themselves. Especially those of us who were conditioned to equate value with being agreeable, reasonable, and always “seeing the other side.”
When we constantly play devil’s advocate, we train our nervous systems to distrust our own instincts. We gaslight ourselves before anyone else can. We dilute our magic before it even has the chance to take form. This week alone, I’ve been watching this pattern play out in the women I work with.
Witches, healers, cycle-breakers, truth-speakers.
And every single one of them had this same wound:
“But I understand their weakness, so I can’t be too strong.” (summarized)
But what if you’re meant to be strong?
What if your rage, your boundaries, your one-sided clarity isn’t a problem, but the exact medicine the world needs?
I’m done playing devil’s advocate. I’m done trying to make others comfortable when they’ve never once offered me the same. I’m done explaining my power just to be palatable.
Let them call you the devil.
You’re not here to be agreeable.
You’re here to raise hell and rewild the parts of you that were told to be “nice.”
If this is hitting something deep for you, you’re not alone. The wound of the first-born daughter is real—and it’s time to reclaim the power that’s always been yours.
Ready to stop playing small and fully own your voice, your truth, and your magic?
Join me in Rooted in Sisterhood—a sacred 4-week journey where women come together to unlearn the roles we were never meant to carry, and return to the truth of who we are.
We start June 22nd and only a few spots remain.
Let this be the moment you stop playing devil’s advocate and finally become the devil they always feared you were.
